17 years

​On May 11th I've been in a wheelchair for 17 years. ​

17 years. Even now when I say that number out loud I can’t believe it.  

At 19 I had no idea exactly where life would take me. Enrolled in college and ready to take on the world I was oblivious to what life had in store. ​

It is true, everything can change in an instant.

When I first woke up and was told I was in an accident and I was in the hospital I just couldn’t believe it - It wasn’t real.  I would fall back asleep thinking I would wake up in my bed and this would just be a dream. But every time I woke up I received the same news - it was real.  

I do not remember much of anything,  All I know is 3 of us made plans to go out that night.  I remember being at the bar briefly but I don’t remember leaving and I don’t remember 4 of us leaving, not 3.

What I do know for sure is I was a backseat passenger in a car that was driven by an impaired driver, and yes, I was impaired too.  That car left the road flipping, and when it came to a stop after hitting a tree, I was no longer inside because I was not wearing my seatbelt.  

I spent a lot of time trying to remember.  For some reason I thought if I knew, I could understand and if I understood I could handle it better.  I wanted to know why I got in the car. I hated myself for not knowing.
How did it go from the person who was suppose to be the driver for the night to it ending the way it did.  Why was I not wearing my seat belt? 
I had to let go of the unknowns.  The hardest was to stop waiting for an apology I would never get.  

After 1 month in the hospital and another 5 months in a rehabilitation hospital I was set free into the world. I am thankful for those who still saw me for me, and thankful for the ones who I have since met who never knew the walking me but that doesn’t even matter.  

I remember when I was first injured and I read there would be a cure in 5 years.  5 years came and went and then turned to 10 years which turned to 15 years. I am still not “cured”.  Don’t get me wrong, there has been great advancements. I just no longer focus on the “cure” but focus on living life.  The hope is still in the back of my mind because we all need hope but it no longer consumes me. ​

17 years in a wheelchair has taught me a lot and looking back,
​I can’t believe how far I & wheelchairs have come.

I use to dread my accident anniversary.  I would get extremely sad. Now, I choose to celebrate!!!  
After all, I am still here. Cheers to second chances.